Shape Shifting
Shape shifting is based upon an American Indian practice. During this religious ceremony (which involved the hallucinogenic peyote buttons), they would shape shift into various animals such as a snake, cougar, or eagle.
 During the shape shifting experience, they would gain insight into the life of the creature they shape shifted. By taking on the form of an eagle, for example, one could understand the perspective of the eagle.
With shape shifting, you are able to understand the perspective of other individuals. You are able to truly empathize with others and their position.
Recently shape shifting had a practical application in my own life. I'd been teaching my 17 year old son how to drive our boat. On his first outing without an adult, a Conservation Officer stopped the boys on the lake to question their ages and attendance in a boat safety class. After the safety inspection the boy roared off towards the dam. Feeling young and exuberant my son and his friend pumped their fists in a celebration of freedom. My son and his friends said they were "cheering on" one of their friends who had got up on skis for the first time, a gesture misinterpreted by the officer.
The Officers were angry with what they perceived were thought were disrespectful boys and the boys perceived that they were dealing with overly excitable "Barney Fife" cops. , The situation had deteriorated to a point where the Officers were threatening the boys for walking up behind and to the right of their pistol holsters.
One panicked call later and I was on my way to aide the distraught boys. Upon arriving at the lake, I was met by the Conservation Officer and a Deputy from the Sheriff's Department. My immediate reaction was to come to the aid of my son and his friends, but I decided it was better to "shape shift" into a Conservation Officer and see his perspective.
I understood how difficult his job was checking for life preservers, fire extinguishers, and the presence of alcohol in a boat load of defiant careless teenagers.
He had a difficult job because most people reacted poorly to him.
It would be much easier for him to relax just fishing and party with the boaters, not do the safety inspections and not give out citations for unsafe boating. His job could be fun but then he wouldn't be doing his job.
Once I shape shifted into the Conservation Officer's perspective I could see that he was on the lake to save lives and perhaps the life of my son and his friends. I now viewed the Officer as a friend and not foe.
Because of my new found perspective, I was able to contain and control the conflict to resolution.
Here are a few tips from my team training that will help you shape shift effectively.
- Avoid being judgmental. You can do this by being in the moment; not engaging in past of future prejudices.
- Make sure that you engage in non-threatening body language and watch for threatened body language in others.
- Refrain from touching others in order to calm them down. Touch is often viewed as a controlling non-verbal behavior.
- Avoid interpreting others behaviors or actions. Often, your interpretations are projections and speculation.
- Use questions to clarify others points of view and to make sure that they understand yours.
- Speak calmly, smoothly and firmly.
- Use distracting questions to help lessen escalating tempers.
- Summarize points of agreement and disagreement.
The next time you are confronted with potential conflict, shape shift into the other and gain their perspective.
You, like my son and his friends, will soon be on your way to a happier life.
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